


So kiss me where I lay down

by element_17



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Everything Hurts, FUCK, M/M, as usual i just tried, freatardstein, larry stylinson - Freeform, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-07
Updated: 2015-04-07
Packaged: 2018-03-21 18:09:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3701631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/element_17/pseuds/element_17
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There were nights when Louis can't sleep. </p>
<p>And there was a night when Harry can't sleep too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	So kiss me where I lay down

**Author's Note:**

> Damn, my first attempt to write a fanfic in the 1D fandom AND under the Larry ship. I apologize in advance.
> 
> But I do hope you enjoy reading. 
> 
> P.S. This is for Syrille, my cousin and fellow hardcore Larry Shipper.

 

_There were nights when Louis couldn’t sleep._

 

It took him by surprise too, the way insomnia attacked him for some months now - the irritable feeling of tossing and turning on a different bed in another hotel room; the familiar longing on the left side of the bed; and the cold air that used to be warmed by a pair of arms that embraced him. 

 

Tonight was different. This feeling - this _whatever_ it was the he was feeling, was something that wasn’t new to him. It’s the kind of tired that sleep couldn’t fix. 

 

It was strange though - he was supposed to be passed out like the rest of the boys. Niall collapsed as soon as Liam pushed him to bed. Even Harry, who had his evening ritual of showering before turning in for the night, didn’t even bother rushing to the bathroom for a quick one. He hurriedly collapsed on the sofa and was fast asleep when Louis left the suite. 

 

_There were nights when Louis couldn’t sleep, and tonight, he had a companion._

 

He spread out the comforter that he got from his bed and sat down on it, as he looked up at the sky above. 

 

“There are stars tonight, so that means -”

 

“No rain tomorrow, yeah.”

 

He turned around and saw Harry leaning on the glass pane of the emergency exit door. He was still wearing the same outfit from tonight’s performance, but was wrapped in a black coat. 

 

“Yeah,” Louis replied quietly, barely an audible whisper. 

 

“Mind if I join you?” Harry asked, kicking some stones. “The coffee from today’s breakfast buffet was too damn strong.” 

 

“Wanker,” Louis responded. “There was no coffee today. Shut up and sit down here.” 

 

Harry laughed softly and sat beside Louis. There was an enough amount of space between them that both knew was long discussed and settled upon. From interviews to concert blockings to every single _shit_ , it was either they were between the other boys or closely far apart from each other. It used to be a nonchalant issue between them, but tonight, it seemed like the management’s instructions got into their daily routines already. 

 

“Are you always like this?” Harry faced Louis, asking him. 

 

“Like what?” he replied, humming silently. 

 

Harry wanted to say _“like this - still looking for me; still finding a way for things to work between us. Still trying. Still there - loving me”_ but instead he uttered, “Well, like…this. Insomniac, looking a drugged dude in the morning.” 

 

Louis chuckled. “For the record, not ‘always”. Just, hmmm, maybe it’s getting often these days - these sleeping issues.” 

 

Harry nodded slowly, trying to understand Louis. 

 

_Since when did there had been a dead air between us, two?_ Harry thought to himself. _Since when did things get so difficult for the both of them? Since when did this…felt like nothing to them anymore?_

 

“So,” Louis began, rubbing his two hands together, then placing them on his cheeks. The air was getting colder and he didn’t even bother to carry a jacket with him. He didn’t know that it’d get so chilly here in Manila - their arrival was welcomed by a seething heat. He wasn’t expecting the bipolar weather in this city. “You were already fast asleep when I went out to come and sit here. What woke you up?” 

 

“You checked on me?” Harry asked, with a hint of hope in his voice. 

 

Louis smiled sadly. “You know that I always check on you guys.”

 

Harry nodded, sharing a sad smile too. “Right. How could I forget.” 

 

“But seriously, what kept you up tonight?” Lou asked again curiously. 

 

“I was just t-thinking…and I couldn’t sleep,” Harry replied tersely. 

 

He didn’t know what to say to him. How could he even say to Louis that he woke up because of a nightmare? That even in his dreams, he was being haunted by the fact that people didn’t want to see them together? That even while he was supposed to be comforted by sleep, he was still on the verge of losing Louis, the only person who mattered to him the most ever since - the only constant thing that he didn’t want to live without? 

 

“Oooh, a nightmare,” Louis smirked, staring at Harry. “I remember it like it was yesterday - the first night of our first tour. You were screaming, waking us all up. The dream was so hellish that I had to sleep beside you.” 

 

“H-have you ever wondered what my nightmares were all about, Lou?” Harry asked, scooting just a little bit closer to Louis. “Because you never asked about them - not to me, not even to Niall.”

 

“Well, they’re nightmares,” Louis said, shrugging. “I’d hate to make you feel worse if I still knew about them,” he lied. 

* * *

 

 

_Louis wrapped his arms around Harry again, caressing his curls to calm him down. Whatever his nightmare was, it was making him shiver and chilly and all things scary._

 

_“I can’t lose you,” Harry began sleep talking, making Louis’s embrace to him more tightly. “I can’t lose you, Lou. I can’t. Lose. You. Lou. I can’t lose Lou.”_

 

_Things were starting to become more complicated at that time and Louis knew that it was a matter of time before they were completely separated from each other._

 

_It was game they would always get lost into, a fight that they’d never win._

 

_But hearing him, hearing Harry like this, holding on a tight rope to save himself, to save_ them _and_ what they have _, Louis now knew._

 

_Harry was worth fighting for._

 

_They were worth fighting for._

* * *

 

“Tonight was the worst nightmare,” Harry informed him. He pulled back his hair away from his face and stared at the sky. “It was still the same old nightmare, yes. But tonight, I-I just can’t handle it anymore. I-I got tired a-and I wanted to wake up. I want things to change. To be different. Things to be, for once, making me truly happy.” 

 

Louis rolled his eyes. “Do we still even know what makes us happy, Harry? Do we, still?” 

 

“I know what makes me happy, my heart happy!” Harry reasoned, pointing to his chest. “I know what’s making me happy and I’d hold onto that because right now, that’s the only thing that’s keeping me alive.” 

 

“Huh, It’ll kill you so soon, I’m telling you,” Louis laughed sardonically. “I’ve been there. That happiness, that false hope? It brought me here - sleepless and insane.” 

 

“It’s starting to kill me right now,” Harry replied. 

 

Louis sighed. “Then let go, Haz. It’s okay to let go of happiness once it’s not making you happy anymore.” 

 

“But I just can’t let you — t-to let us go,” Harry admitted softly. “I can’t, Lou. You know I tried. But I’m just — I love you too much to walk away now.” 

 

Louis breathed in, as if he could intake Harry’s words. He had never heard those words for a long time now. At least, not that aloud. This “I love you” tonight was different - it wasn’t just the usual whisper, the uttered silence that they’d keep form Modest. This one was loud - clear. A call. A liberating yet desperate call, that is. 

 

“C’mere,” Louis said finally, scooting closer and wrapping his arms around Harry. 

 

Harry embraced Louis, as tears fell to his cheeks. “Lou?”

 

“Hmmm?” Louis mumbled, burying his face onto Harry’s tamed curls.

 

“Please sing to me.” 

 

“ _So kiss me where I lay down_

_My hands pressed to your cheeks_

_A long way from the playground_

 

_I have loved you since we were 18_

_Long before we both thought the same thing_

_To be loved and to be in love_

 

_And all I could do is say_

_That these arms are made for holding you_

_Oh, I wanna love like you made me feel -_

 

I love you.” 

 

Louis looked at Harry and his head was leaning on his shoulder, Harry sleeping soundly. Heplanted a kiss atop his head and quietly carried him to his room discretely. 

 

_There were nights when Louis couldn’t sleep._

 

 

_But tonight - tonight was different._

 

 

_Because he finally fell asleep. Close to him, holding him. Beside him._

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. Leave some constructive criticism, yeah? :) x


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